Today, Wednesday, for the first time since May, I slept all night, waking only long enough to double lock the door as Muffin left for work. The full night of sleep could be attributed to the muscle relaxer I swallowed last night. It could have been the three nights I stayed awake until after 3 a.m. It could have been the packing, the trip to the apartment, the unpacking, the trip to Garland, the return trip and the emotional drain of yet another memorial service for not one, but two people that I loved dearly. Yes, it could have been an accumulation of all those events. But, I really think that finally, the prayers of the Body of Christ were answered in one evening and my body gave my brain permission to rest.
You would think perhaps the reversal of that permission is true. And it certainly can be. But my body, although tired, has been renewed by a few hours sleep and some exercise here and there. It is my brain that will not turn off. When I truly rest it is because I have very little, or little of pressing importance, to think about.
The night before a performance is always very stressful for me, especially if it is a solo performance, or if I’m not as prepared as I desire, or if there is great potential for disaster within the music. So, I rarely ever sleep soundly on those nights. Nor do I rest well the night before an event for which I have responsibilities—meetings, weddings with the quartet, weddings for my own daughters, detailed events with high visibility, you get the picture…
So, now that I am away from the environment where I work, plan, host, and generally direct all events—namely, Home—I gave myself permission to sleep. Nothing big happening here at Muffin’s apartment while he was working today. Just me, smocking a bonnet for Gracie, a book or two, a couple of notes to write and plenty of Bible teaching on podcast and music downloaded on the ipod.
Bonnet finished. Notes mailed. Two sermons, three chapters, and ‘bout one tenth of a playlist behind me. So, why am I keeping score? Because that’s Me measuring Me. We all do it, but some of us do it too often. Tomorrow I’m setting no goals. Except mailing the bonnet. That’s all. Really!