Saturday, June 14, 2008

A wedding and a viewing

Last year I promised a former violin student, whose family has known my family for years, that I would play for her wedding today. The event was at a local museum, in the courtyard, and our quartet sat in a shady place, which also happened to be near an ant bed. The ants crawled all over our ankles, feet, finally up our legs into our clothing. They were in my purse, which I left unzipped to be able to reach a tissue. They even crawled up the music stands and into our music. And they stung! Ouchy! Plus, it was really close to 100 degrees, with sun radiating off the three story brick building and the concrete patio courtyard and glass enclosures. Hot!

But the wedding music, and the need to concentrate fully on music, tone, and timing for a wedding, was welcome to my exhausted brain and body. As I sat there, stinging, burning, and melting down, I was able to lay aside the images and sounds of the past 14 days in the nursing home, and focus on a happy occasion. After playing for an hour in the heat, the last person in the wedding party was escorted from the scene and Muffin and I put away all the stands and music and moved inside for the reception as invited guests. Sitting there in the coolness, eating tidbits, watching a slide show, I became less and less focused and it seemed all my energy and stamina melted away with the last degree of heat as the sun set.

I am tired. I admit it freely. We got about 8 hours sleep last night, but I dreamed that my watched stopped at 12:35 and was broken. It was so real that I checked it when I woke this morning. What a strange feeling—my watch, and a big part of my world stopped at 12:35 p.m. June 13, 2008 when Daddy’s heart stopped beating.

This afternoon we took Mother to the funeral home to sign paperwork, order death certificates, finalize arrangements and view the body. Then to the cemetery for more of the same and an invitation to view the grave site opening (which Mother declined). I was surprisingly OK with the process. Daddy is not in that body anymore, and although I loved the container, I appreciated the spirit much more. Mother cried a little because she is my Mother. She is still wound tightly and in repeat mode, but promised to rest tonight and tomorrow before the public viewing and visitation. We’re looking forward to seeing old friends and having more family nearby.

Muffin and I got a bit of time with Em and Roo today before the wedding. We watched “Classical Baby”, ate yogurt bites, played with new toys and read books. Tonight we visited with CB & JB, Joy & Mike, allowing Kak time to work on photos. Boo called to say she misses everyone and her feet are swelling. She and Michael went to a baseball game tonight in AZ, but her thoughts were returning to us, Dubbie and Nannie. This will be a pattern for all the family in the days ahead.

Thanks to some awesome friends we are eating very well at our house, and Mother’s fridge is filling in anticipation of her family/guests arrival tomorrow. God’s people are just the best—through illness, death, marriage, birth and celebrations of many kinds.

No comments: