Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Nannie 6_17_08

The title of this post is very strange looking. We have always referred to my parents as Nannie&Dubbie--one word. Without him her name looks incomplete. I know she feels incomplete after 661/2 years of marriage. The past year has been "practice" in staying by her self at the house, in attending church alone, in driving alone around town to errands. There have been places she simply has not wanted to go without him--concerts, visits, some functions even at church. I cannot blame her at all. She didn’t want visitation to be at their church because she didn't want to remember the casket at the front of the church. Thankfully, we had the burial ceremony prior to the service. "Taps" played as the VFW Post representatives quietly folded the US Flag, knelt, and presented it to my Mom, along with a Bible, "on behalf of a grateful nation in thanks for his service to our country."
Today, Nannie said farewell to the TX coast relatives, then called Kak and Joy over to help her sort through personal belongings. She sent all Daddy's ties, suits, jackets, knives and a few other items home with them. They brought some of Nannie's things too-yarn and crochet hooks, wall plaques, my Grandmother's engagement bracelet. It is almost as if she wants to erase the part of her that aches in remembering. I'm concerned that she is making too many changes too quickly, but I also understand her desire to move forward. Three weeks ago, moving forward was too painful because the alternative to watching Daddy as he lay struggling to breathe was unthinkable. After 13 days at his side night and day, my mom deserves to move forward, however slowly or quickly she chooses. Since I have always been more like my Daddy, I do not expect to grieve as my Mother does.
She had plans tomorrow to bake with Abigail, who is in high demand at her Tae Kwan Do studio, preparing to leave for an exhibition trip. Baking day is postponed. Joy and Kak may take her to lunch before they leave town. They drove her to the cemetery today, and reported that she cried a little, but stayed strong. That's our Nannie. My Mother has always been strong in making decisions, following through, standing courageous and enduring pain. I am confident that will not change.

Muffin drove back to work tonight. His first appointment for PT on his shoulder is Friday morning. After he left this evening, I consolidated the remaining food, washed dishes to return to generous folks who have provided meals for our family, swept the walk and porch until I realized another storm is brewing, and vacuumed my carpets. Our girls are watching old movies. These things too, will not change.

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