The Light Moments

After leaving the bank with my Mom today and being further reminded by statements, accounts, death certificates and financial planners that my Daddy is no longer on earth, I wanted to think about the lighter moments of this process. Here are a few:
1. Nannie told the financial planner that if he messed up her expenses and did not leave her enough for daily living that she would move in with him, however, said she, "I don't eat much".
2. At the burial service at 10 a.m. sitting under the cemetery tent in building summer heat, Muffin and I, CB and JB and twins, and Joy and Mike were seated on the second row from the front, directly behind Nannie, Aunt Leona, KaK, and Abigail. About 5 minutes into the 15 minute service, Roo got a bit distracted with the cursive letters embroidered on the back of the folding chair covers belonging to Elmwood Cemetery. She began to read them out loud. "D, O, O, E, L, M---ELMO! ELMO!ELMO!ELMO!" It's such a comfort to know that our two year old has a sight word already.
3. During one of the last visits to the nursing center, Em, who loves her moments of drama, had been "shushed" about all she could stand. So she prissed down the hall with her forefinger to her lips telling everyone she met to "Shh..."
4. Watching old movies--Daddy Long Legs, Skirts Ahoy, and others--with my lovely girls
5. Eating. Eating. Eating well. The girls refer to their habit when coming home as "Abulemia".
It included many cookies, brisket, smoked turkey, a hugh chicken/veggie enchilada casserole, 3, yes 3! cakes, real veggies and 2 super jumbo containers full of salad, 3 loaves of bread, blueberry pancakes, about 2 dozen eggs--scrambled, several runs to Taco Bueno, and the piece de resistance--a S'mores Pie baked by Joy. Abulemia indeed.
6. Sandbox and wading pool time with the twins. Always fun and full of smiles.
7. Remembering, and hearing new Dubbie stories for 2 weeks as friends and family came to visit. He was just a fun guy, as you can see in the slide show.

A wedding and a viewing

Last year I promised a former violin student, whose family has known my family for years, that I would play for her wedding today. The event was at a local museum, in the courtyard, and our quartet sat in a shady place, which also happened to be near an ant bed. The ants crawled all over our ankles, feet, finally up our legs into our clothing. They were in my purse, which I left unzipped to be able to reach a tissue. They even crawled up the music stands and into our music. And they stung! Ouchy! Plus, it was really close to 100 degrees, with sun radiating off the three story brick building and the concrete patio courtyard and glass enclosures. Hot!

But the wedding music, and the need to concentrate fully on music, tone, and timing for a wedding, was welcome to my exhausted brain and body. As I sat there, stinging, burning, and melting down, I was able to lay aside the images and sounds of the past 14 days in the nursing home, and focus on a happy occasion. After playing for an hour in the heat, the last person in the wedding party was escorted from the scene and Muffin and I put away all the stands and music and moved inside for the reception as invited guests. Sitting there in the coolness, eating tidbits, watching a slide show, I became less and less focused and it seemed all my energy and stamina melted away with the last degree of heat as the sun set.

I am tired. I admit it freely. We got about 8 hours sleep last night, but I dreamed that my watched stopped at 12:35 and was broken. It was so real that I checked it when I woke this morning. What a strange feeling—my watch, and a big part of my world stopped at 12:35 p.m. June 13, 2008 when Daddy’s heart stopped beating.

This afternoon we took Mother to the funeral home to sign paperwork, order death certificates, finalize arrangements and view the body. Then to the cemetery for more of the same and an invitation to view the grave site opening (which Mother declined). I was surprisingly OK with the process. Daddy is not in that body anymore, and although I loved the container, I appreciated the spirit much more. Mother cried a little because she is my Mother. She is still wound tightly and in repeat mode, but promised to rest tonight and tomorrow before the public viewing and visitation. We’re looking forward to seeing old friends and having more family nearby.

Muffin and I got a bit of time with Em and Roo today before the wedding. We watched “Classical Baby”, ate yogurt bites, played with new toys and read books. Tonight we visited with CB & JB, Joy & Mike, allowing Kak time to work on photos. Boo called to say she misses everyone and her feet are swelling. She and Michael went to a baseball game tonight in AZ, but her thoughts were returning to us, Dubbie and Nannie. This will be a pattern for all the family in the days ahead.

Thanks to some awesome friends we are eating very well at our house, and Mother’s fridge is filling in anticipation of her family/guests arrival tomorrow. God’s people are just the best—through illness, death, marriage, birth and celebrations of many kinds.